Modern means of communication such as social media, texting, and video calling are making communication faster and more immediate than ever before. More and more people today are revisiting a very old and traditional form of communication: the exchange of letters with a “pen pal” located on the other side of the world. Though it may sound and feel outdated to some, this once again is becoming a popular way for people from many different areas of our world to establish friendships, despite the fact that they may never meet each other.
There is something uniquely rewarding about having to wait for the delivery of a letter, which, unlike our current methods of communication, cannot be delivered within a few seconds.
The writing of letters and exchanging of communications through letters has been used for many years by people attempting to establish relationships across countries. In the 1930s, teachers began creating pen-pal programs to allow students from different parts of the world to communicate and establish friendships with each other. Not only did this provide students with the opportunity to develop friendships with someone from somewhere else, but it also provided them with the opportunity to learn about another culture that they may never see in person.
The program was based on a very simple idea. Two complete strangers, who live far apart from each other, would write to one another and allow their interest and curiosity about each other to guide their communications.
Teachers believed that these types of communications between young people would provide educational experiences that would be far better than any geography book could provide. Instead of merely reading about a country, the young people would be able to communicate with someone who actually lived there about their daily life, activities, traditions, schooling, food, holidays, and families.
Learning has become personal.
In the past, international travel was very expensive and making long-distance phone calls was considered a luxury so sending handwritten letter was the only way to stay connected to those separated from you by an ocean. Each envelope contained a story, a picture or some how to live a different way.
Some of these friendships lasted for many years.
One of the best examples is two women who started writing to each other as pen pals almost 70 years ago after one placed an ad in the paper looking for a pen pal. Initially they exchanged a few letters introducing themselves. And, eventually, they became the best of friends and are still in touch today. This example shows that meaningful relationships can develop between friends without seeing each other face to face.
Of course, not all pen pal stories last that long.
But even a short exchange of letters can have a tremendous impact on the way we view the world.
The biggest reason why more people are looking to be pen pals again is because of flexibility.
You do not need to use a notepaper and pen. You can select the form of communication you feel most comfortable with, based on your personality.
For the most part, traditional letters offer the best in terms of nostalgia. Nothing quite beats the tactile experience of having a piece of paper with someone’s handwriting on it, an envelope that has traveled hundreds (or even thousands) of miles to find its way into your mailbox.
There is a certain amount of personal connection to letters that you usually don’t get with electronic communication.
If waiting several weeks for your letter to arrive seems too long, you should consider sending an email. It might not have the same nostalgic feeling as a letter, but it will allow you to write longer messages without having to pay for postage or wait for the mail to arrive internationally.
Then, there is the next generation of language exchanges. Many language learners now use apps or social media for instant messaging. This form of communicating is similar to how most people text their friends. These language exchanges allow participants to communicate regularly and develop a sense of friendship, while still maintaining some of the traditional aspects of being a pen pal.
Choosing how to communicate is only part of the experience.
The next step is to find the right platform to communicate through.
Today, there are many online communities designed to connect people who want a cultural exchange, but do not want romance. Some of these sites focus on exchanging handwritten letters, while others emphasize exchanging language skills, collecting postcards or having casual conversations with people on the internet.
Language learners find that having a penpal is one of the best ways to learn, because instead of memorizing vocabulary out of textbooks, they are able to communicate with real people who use the language in their everyday lives, and as such, their conversations are far more authentic; over time, they have improved their grammar as well as gained a better cultural understanding of the language in which they have been learning.
It’s a fun way to learn without it feeling like homework.
Another fun way to communicate using this concept is to send postcards.
Instead of creating one long-lasting penpal relationship, you would send postcards to random people around the world, and you also would receive postcards from random people located in other countries. This gives you an opportunity to collect pieces of the world without having to leave your house.
Safety should always be your top priority.
Most reputable penpal communities require their members to be thoroughly screened prior to becoming a member of the community, and this is key for creating a more positive experience for each member.
However, just because an individual is part of a reputable penpal community, that does not mean you should not be cautious.
For example, there are many individuals who chat online with new friends before exchanging mailing addresses, and there are also many individuals who use a post office box instead of their home address for added privacy. By taking the appropriate precautions, you can help your friendship grow without taking unnecessary risks.
Writing the first letter to your penpal can be a bit intimidating.
However, it doesn’t have to be difficult.
Begin with an introduction of yourself, and your location. Next, include the overall reason for looking for a pen pal followed by your hobbies, favourite food, favourite music, travel dreams, etc., all of which should display your personality.
The most engaging letters always include a variety of questions.
Curiosity will always foster ongoing conversations.
Inquire about their daily life where they are living, what local customs or traditions they enjoy as well as suggestions of places to visit at some point in time. By giving your new friend something of importance to respond with, it makes it much easier for both of you to continue the dialogue.
Additionally, before finishing your letter, let your pen pal know what you will be doing in-between letter exchanges.
Are you studying for exams?
Are you going on vacation?
Are you going to start cooking or learn a new hobby?
Having these small updates will be future discussion starters.
This is one of the major differences between communicating with a pen pal and the quick chats you have on an app or online.
Writing a letter provides for a very different type of story compared with the limited responses provided by chat.
Letters enable us to take time, think and respond to one another intentionally.
This is a much-needed breath of fresh air in our fast-paced digital world.
It is easy to see that the biggest advantage in having a pen pal is not developing one’s writing ability or improving a second language.
It allows you to truly see into someone else’s life on a day-to-day basis.
Newspapers and magazines often talk about the world through the lens of politics and large events but a pen pal will write to you about celebrating their birthday, going to cafés in their neighbourhood, recipes they love to prepare, customs of their family, and things that have happened in their lives that would either never be reported by the media or would only be a short news item.
These small, everyday stories build real knowledge of the culture of another person.
You can have an experience of another culture without a passport.
Many times, it is as simple as writing a thoughtful letter to someone who you have never met, having a little patience to wait for a response and having the willingness to begin a relationship with a stranger.
What began as a hobby nearly 100 years ago is demonstrated through the continued existence of pen pals, but, more importantly, it shows that meaningful friendships can transcend all distances, one letter at a time!
