Having to achieve financial goals as a couple without being on the same page is a subtle source of stress, disruption, and tension in the relationship. When we combine our finances, it may feel intimidating, but ultimately money flows from being a source of conflict to a collective venture.
How One Small Problem Became a Huge Wake-Up Call
At first, splitting expenses made sense: Rent? 50/50; Groceries? 50/50; Insurance? 50/50, etc. A Venmo transfer would take place each and every time one of us made a payment, and we’d somehow keep tallies of when someone owes someone else.
As time went on, the scenario changed drastically when one spouse had a significant amount of debt compared to their partner. They would have their own student loans; they would not be making equal income; and instead of it being a matter of “I’ll pay you back later” it turned more into “Maybe someday. ”
The topic of owing one spouse money is nothing like owing a financial institution.
One spouse would have this enormous emotional burden placed on them because they may be earning less than their partner or may have more significant debts than their partner rather than earning an equal amount or receiving an equal amount of money. Even if no one says anything about it, the disparity brings itself to the forefront of everyday life.
At this point, money truly becomes less about numbers and becomes more about pride, pressure, and resentment without saying a word.
This is typically when couples realize there’s something wrong with how they are doing things financially.
Combining your finances might seem like stepping on a one-way bridge, so once you combine them, it will probably be hardest to separate them at that point.
However, when getting married and creating a joined life, why would you want to have two separate financial systems?
So the decision gets made to combine everything into one group account and create one set of financial goals.
Life Becomes Simpler Very Quickly
Now, you do not have to transfer money back and forth and you do not have someone accountable for what they owe you. Therefore, you do not have to calculate in your mind a fair split.
All pay checks will go to the same bank account; all bills will come from the same bank account; therefore, everything is simplified, stress free, and less time consuming.
There will be much less administration work, less hassle, and less worry.
Debt Will Become “Our”/Not “Your”
When the finances are combined, debt is no longer your personal problem. It is now both partner’s task as a team.
There is now cooperation instead of guilt.
There is now planning instead of blame.
There is now cooperation instead of insecurity.
By working together to eliminate debt provides each individual with greater peace of mind than if they each were trying to pay off the same debt independently.
Income Will No Longer Be Compared
Now that income will be shared, the difference in incomes will no longer affect you emotionally.
Earnings don’t matter – neither does accumulated debt – what matters is teamwork and shared goals.
No more of the separating scoreboard.
Achieving Combined Financial Goals
Rush together toward your dreams by unifying your finances.
Pay off debt.
Save for a house.
Have long-term security.
Instead of each person working towards their own goals independently, it evolves into a “master plan” with multiple players. Strategic meetings replace simple budgets and communicating about sacrifices means you’re both working towards the same end.
The Life That Didn’t Happen
Had finances remained separate, each would likely have continued their current cash management strategies. Individual goals may not have been aligned. Progress could have been compromised.
Separately owned accounts create different objectives within individual owners.
Joint accounts create a joint purpose.
Banded together through finances still leaves you as an independent party; it creates increased value in the relationship. Trust, communication, and responsibility must be present, but once established will result in outstanding clarity, oneness, and acceleration within your marriage.
The power of money changes from being a separator to a helpful tool.
The thought of merging finances can scare many people. But, after spending time trying to create a combined future based upon two independent systems, it is more difficult than trying to create a joint future with two combined systems.
With a truly joined front through finances, we experience a significant reduction in stress due to knowing our goals and their original projections, resulting in a greater ability to fulfil our goals; therefore, experiencing less stressful lives through increased teamwork than separately.
